The key to a healthy relationship is communication. Healthy relationships, or relationships in which both or all partners are equally satisfied, have been linked to various health benefits, such as well-being, happiness, and longer life expectancy. 1 2
One way to keep communication strong is to find interesting things to talk about with your partner. In 1989, Aron and Aron proposed the self-expansion model, which posits that people are motivated to expand their self-concept by engaging in new, interesting, and challenging activities. 3 So, when you continuously engage or talk about topics that interest or challenge both of you, it can help you feel closer to each other and foster a sense of novelty and excitement in the relationship.
The problem, however, that couples often face is finding new and interesting things to talk about, especially after the honeymoon phase is over and you know your partner pretty well. This is where our list comes in! If you’re looking to deepen your personal connection with your partner and have a happy relationship, here are some great conversation starters!
Have you ever felt that your relationship with your significant other is lacking? Effective communication in a relationship is essential for long lasting love.
10 Things to talk about with your girlfriend
If you’re running out of things to talk about with your girlfriend, don’t despair. There are plenty of topics to choose from that will keep both of you entertained and engaged. Here are a few topics that are sure to get the conversation flowing again.
1. Talk about your favorite memories together
Talking about your favorite memory together is a great way to remind yourselves why you’re together in the first place. Recalling good memories will help to bring back positive feelings and strengthen your relationship. Sometimes it’s also good to talk about bad memories. However, be sure to do this in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel bad. Episodic memories can influence both partners of a romantic relationship, so even if you think a memory is a bad one, your partner may not. 4 Perhaps they could even offer you new perspectives on that memory.
If you’re struggling to remember good or bad times, try looking through old photos together or watching old home videos. This will help jog your memory and give you plenty to talk about.
2. Share your thoughts and feelings on the relationship
This is a great topic for those who are comfortable with open communication. Discussing your thoughts and feelings about the relationship can help to deepen your connection with your partner. It can also help you to identify any potential problems early on and work on solving them before they become bigger issues. Be constructive when sharing your thoughts and feelings, so it’s easier for you to overcome these issues. 5 This isn’t the time to criticize your partner or list everything that’s wrong with the relationship.
If you’re feeling scared or uncertain, be sure to communicate that to your partner. They need to know how you’re feeling in order to help you feel better. If you’re feeling happy and content, tell them! This will make them feel good and let them know that they’re doing a great job.
3. Talk about your goals and dreams
Sharing your life goals and dreams with each other is a great way to connect on a deeper level. When you know what your partner hopes to achieve in life, you can support them and offer encouragement along the way. It’s also interesting to see how your partner’s goals might change or evolve over time.
Couples who share interpersonal goals with each other will often engage in activities that move them closer to those goals. 6 These shared activities can help to improve the relationship and make it more meaningful. If you’re not sure what your partner’s goals are, ask them! They’ll be happy to share their dreams with you.
4. Talk about what you’re passionate about
Whether it’s your favorite hobby, your favorite book or a cause you care deeply about, talking about what you’re passionate about is a great way to connect with your partner. Hobbies and passionate activities play a huge role in your well-being, so it’s important to share these things with each other. 7
When you share something you’re passionate about, it can help your partner to understand you better. It can also be a fun way to bond and explore new interests together.
5. Talk about childhood memories and the past
Exchanging life experiences is a great way to get to know each other on a deeper level. It can also be a fun way to bond and laugh together. If you’re feeling nostalgic, talking about childhood memories is always a surefire way to generate some good conversation.
You can also use the past as a way to learn more about your partner’s family and upbringing. Ask them about their favorite memories from childhood or about things their parents did that made a lasting impression on them.
6. Talk about your ideal life
What does a perfect life look like to you? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to be a stay-at-home parent? Do you want to own your own business? Talk about what your ideal life looks like and see if your partner’s vision aligns with yours.
This can also be a wonderful opportunity for you to plan your goals, both as individuals and as a couple. Doing so won’t only help you reach your goals faster, but it can also lower conflict and increase satisfaction in your relationship. 8
7. Talk about your views on life
Do you believe in extraterrestrial life? Do you think people are naturally good or bad? What do you think happens after we die? Talk about your views on life and see where your partner stands.
Comparing worldviews is a great way to generate meaningful conversation. It can also help you to understand each other’s perspectives on various issues.
8. Ask her how she is feeling today
This is a great way to show your partner that you care about their well-being. Checking in with your partner on how they’re feeling is a great way to show that you’re invested in their emotional state. It can also help you to identify any potential problems early on and offer support if needed.
If your partner is struggling, be sure to offer support and encouragement. Offering social support to someone in need has been shown to have a number of benefits, both for the person in need and for the relationship as a whole. 9 So, make sure to let your partner know that you’re there for them, no matter what.
9. Ask her about her day
This is another great way to show your partner that you care about them. Asking about their day is a great way to start off a conversation. It can also help you to get an idea of what’s going on in their life.
If your partner opens up and shares something personal with you, be sure to offer support and understanding. Of course, don’t force her to share anything she doesn’t want to. But, if she does share something, let her know that you’re there for her.
10. Share your thoughts on the current news events
Whether it’s political views or social issues, talking about the current news is a great way to generate conversation. It can also help you to understand each other’s perspectives on various issues.
Be sure to avoid getting into arguments, though! If you disagree with your partner on a particular issue, try to remain respectful and open-minded. Remember that you’re both entitled to your own opinions.
30 questions to ask your girlfriend
Sometimes, it’s having a conversation topic isn’t enough. In this case, you may need to ask your girlfriend specific questions to get the conversation flowing.
10 cute questions to ask your girlfriend
Let’s start with some sweet and light-hearted questions that will put a smile on her face.
- What was your first impression of me when we met?
- What do you like most about me?
- If you could describe me with one word, what would it be?
- What is the cheesiest thing you’ve ever done?
- When did you first know that you loved me?
- What would you do if there was a zombie apocalypse and I was turning into a zombie?
- What is your favorite memory of us together?
- Is there anything that you don’t like about me?
- Do you remember what I was wearing the first time we met?
- What is your favorite physical feature of mine?
10 fun questions to ask your girlfriend
These funny questions will lead to a fun conversation and will make your girl laugh.
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
- If you could be a character in any movie, who would you choose to be?
- What would you do if you won the lottery?
- What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
- Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island or in a room with a bunch of spiders?
- What’s the most useless fact you know?
- If you could trade places with any celebrity, who would it be?
- What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
- What kid’s movie scarred you for life?
10 existential questions to ask your girlfriend
These deep questions will get her thinking about life, the universe, and everything.
- What do you think happens after we die?
- Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
- What is the meaning of life, according to you?
- Do you think time travel is possible?
- What are your thoughts on parallel universes?
- Do you believe in the existence of a soul?
- What do you think the purpose of existence is?
- Do you think we are all just characters in somebody else’s story?
- Do you think our lives are pre-determined or do we have free will?
- Is there such a thing as objective reality, or is everything just subjective?
There are many more things to talk about with your girlfriend. However, these are just some conversation starters to get you going. If you want to keep the conversation flowing, be sure to ask follow-up questions and show genuine interest in what your partner has to say. Also, don’t forget to have fun! Enjoy spending time with your girlfriend and getting to know her better.
- Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
- The Power of Four Bases for Relationships: Can You Hit a Home Run in a Relationship?
- Communication and Relationship: A Guide to Deeper Connection, Trust and Intimacy to Improve Communication and Strengthen Your Bond as a Couple
- Couple's Bucket List: 101 Fun, Engaging Dating Ideas
Barnes, S., Brown, K. W., Krusemark, E., Campbell, W. K., and Rogge, R. D. (2007). The role of mindfulness in romantic relationship satisfaction and responses to relationship stress. J. Marital Fam. Ther. 33, 482–500. doi.org ↩︎
Fincham, F. D., and Rogge, R. (2010). Understanding relationship quality: theoretical challenges and new tools for assessment. J. Fam. Theory Rev. 2, 227–242. doi.org ↩︎
Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love and the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. Hemisphere Publishing Corp/Harper & Row Publishers. ↩︎
Guilbault, V., & Philippe, F. L. (2016). Commitment in romantic relationships as a function of partners’ encoding of important couple-related memories. Memory, 25(5), 595–606. doi.org ↩︎
Gable, S. L., Impett, E. A., Reis, H. T., and Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 87, 228–245. doi.org ↩︎
Marshall, E. M., & Gere, J. (2022). Congruence and goal sharing of health-related goals among newly dating individuals explaining goal importance and commitment. Psychology & health, 1–12. Advance online publication. doi.org ↩︎
Pressman, S. D., Matthews, K. A., Cohen, S., Martire, L. M., Scheier, M., Baum, A., & Schulz, R. (2009). Association of enjoyable leisure activities with psychological and physical well-being. Psychosomatic medicine, 71(7), 725–732. doi.org ↩︎
Zambrano, E., Pauly, T., Gerstorf, D., Ashe, M. C., Madden, K. M., & Hoppmann, C. A. (2022). Partner Contributions to Goal Pursuit: Findings From Repeated Daily Life Assessments With Older Couples. The journals of gerontology. Series B, Psychological sciences and social sciences, 77(1), 29–38. doi.org ↩︎
Cohen S. (2004). Social relationships and health. The American psychologist, 59(8), 676–684. doi.org ↩︎
David Hall
David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …
Read full bio
