INFJs are complex, independent personalities who can be both difficult and rewarding to love. INFJs often make up majority of counselors, and for good reason! As advocates, they take their relationships seriously and often see harmony as an ideal goal. 1
If you’re lucky enough to have an INFJ in your life, there are certain things you should keep in mind. In this article, we’ll explore what to expect from loving someone with an INFJ personality type and how to make the most of your relationship.
Want more fulfilling relationships in your life? Discover how communication & attachment styles shape your relationship dynamics.
Why understanding MBTI personalities in relationships is important
Personality type is a huge factor in how relationships play out. After all, how two people relate to each other is determined by their personalities and preferences.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a great tool for understanding how people work differently. It’s based on Carl Jung’s theories of personality types and was later developed by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. 2
The MBTI consists of four pairs of personality preferences that can be used to determine a person’s overall type. These pairs are:
- Introvert (I) vs Extrovert (E): Are you energized by being alone and in your head or when surrounded by people?
- Intuitive (N) vs Sensing (S): Do you tend to focus on the future, big-picture ideas, or pay close attention to concrete details?
- Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F): When making decisions, do you rely more on logic or emotions?
- Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P): Are you organized and think ahead, or prefer to go with the flow and stay flexible?
The MBTI pairs are combined to form 16 unique personality types. INFJs can be a rare and mysterious type, but they can also be incredibly rewarding to love. Understanding an INFJ’s personality type can help in any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
Want to know how your personality type impacts romantic relationships? Unlock the secrets to compatibility and communication in this insightful article.
9 things to expect when loving an INFJ
INFJs are complex and caring people who take their relationships seriously. They thrive on deep connections and may be more willing than other types to open up emotionally. Here are some of the things you should know about loving an INFJ:
1. Deep emotional connection
Because of their Feeling (F) trait, INFJs are naturally in tune with their emotions. They’re great listeners and show genuine interest in those they care for. INFJs value quality over quantity when it comes to relationships and strive for emotional stability.
When it comes to relationships, INFJs don’t shy away from emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Learning to be comfortable with vulnerability is perhaps the most important aspect of being in a relationship with an INFJ. 3
2. Supportive and attentive
INFJs are incredibly loyal and supportive partners who will always have your back. They’re usually very attentive to their partner’s needs and try to make them feel loved and appreciated.
This support and attentiveness can be especially helpful when dealing with stress or difficult times. INFJs are great problem solvers and will often look for ways to help their partners overcome any struggles they may be facing. 4
Knowing how to be supportive and attentive to your communication style can enhance your relationships. Learn valuable insights in this article.
3. They are deeply intuitive and insightful
One of the most remarkable traits of INFJs is their ability to look beyond the surface and pick up on hidden meanings. They are very intuitive, which means they can quickly understand people and situations without having to be told explicitly what’s going on.
This deep insight into the human condition makes them great counselors and problem solvers. This can be especially helpful during inevitable conflicts and disagreements. 5
4. Need for alone time and boundaries
As introverts, INFJs need their alone time to recharge and process their thoughts. This doesn’t mean they don’t value relationships or don’t enjoy spending time with you - it just means they require some regular time away from people to maintain balance.
INFJs also tend to be reserved when it comes to expressing themselves, so they may need some extra time to open up. It’s important to give them the space they need while still maintaining open communication and clear boundaries.
A need for alone time and socializing can coexist in an introvert-extrovert relationship. Discover tips to make it work harmoniously.
5. Consistency is key
INFJs value consistency and stability in relationships, so it can be difficult for them when things become unpredictable or unstable. They seek predictability from their partners, so it’s important to maintain a consistent level of communication and remain true to your word.
Because INFJs are always on the lookout for meaningful connections, they may be more sensitive to any perceived inconsistencies. Making sure you’re reliable and consistent will go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship with an INFJ.
Consistency is vital in understanding your attachment style for a healthier relationship. Uncover key insights to foster love and security.
6. They’re great communicators
INFJs are great communicators who excel at understanding what’s on their partner’s mind. They’re often adept at picking up nonverbal cues and always strive to build deeper connections with those they care about.
Nonverbal cues make up a large part of communication, and this is something INFJs excel at. They tend to be great readers of body language and can often sense the feelings and intentions behind words even if these aren’t explicitly stated. 6
7. Genuine caring and compassion
Above all, INFJs seek out meaningful connections and strive to make the world a better place. They are deeply caring individuals who view relationships as a chance for personal growth and transformation.
INFJs care deeply about those they love and value actions that demonstrate genuine compassion. If you’re in a relationship with an INFJ, make sure to show your appreciation and demonstrate genuine care in return.
8. They’re loyal and devoted partners
INFJs are fiercely loyal and devoted to those they love. They value connections that last a lifetime, so if you’re in a relationship with an INFJ, know that they take it seriously.
They strive for stability and consistency in relationships, so they won’t be quick to bail when things get tough. If you’re looking for a committed partner, an INFJ is likely the right choice.
9. Openness to growth and change
INFJs love opportunities for personal growth and transformation. They’re open-minded individuals who often value open communication and dialogue in relationships.
This openness to change can be both a blessing and a curse - INFJs may struggle with commitment if they don’t feel like the relationship is evolving in a positive direction. But this also makes them great partners who are open to growth and transformation.
Loving an INFJ can be a truly rewarding experience if you understand their unique needs and traits. Discover other communication in relationships tips to help you maintain a strong connection with those you love.
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Woods, R. A., & Hill, P. B. (2022). Myers Brigg. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. ↩︎
Sels, L., Ceulemans, E., Bulteel, K., & Kuppens, P. (2016). Emotional Interdependence and Well-Being in Close Relationships. Frontiers in Psychology, 7. ↩︎
Cohen S. (2004). Social relationships and health. The American psychologist, 59(8), 676–684. ↩︎
Gurman, A. S. (2008). A framework for the comparative study of couple therapy. In Alan S Gurman (Ed.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (4th ed., pp. 1-30). New York, NY: Guilford Press. ↩︎
Mehrabian, A. (2016). Silent messages: a wealth of information about nonverbal communication (body language). kaaj.com ↩︎
Amy Clark
Amy Clark is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, marriage, and family. She has been happily married for over ten years and loves her husband and three kids. Before …
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