How to practice active listening in a long-distance relationship

Enhance communication in your long-distance relationship through the power of active listening. Find practical tips and strategies in this informative article.

On this page

Long-distance relationships can be incredibly fulfilling if you make them work. While it may seem challenging to maintain intimacy when separated by distance, one key tool can help: active listening. 1

Active listening is the practice of truly hearing and understanding what your partner says. In this article, we’ll look at how active listening can strengthen long-distance relationships and create a deeper connection between partners.

Are communication problems getting in the way of your relationship? Learn how effective communication can help create and maintain a strong bond with your partner.

Defining active listening

Defining active listening

Active listening is a way of communicating that involves complete attention and understanding. It requires the listener to truly hear what is being said, understand it, and respond in a respectful and kind way.

This type of communication helps build trust and increases intimacy. When partners actively listen to each other, they can better understand and appreciate one another’s thoughts and feelings. 2

Especially when you’re divided by distance, active listening is critical to keeping a relationship strong. With active listening, partners can bridge the physical gap between them and maintain closeness.

Being a good listener is essential in any relationship. Learn to be active listeners and show your partner that you care with these practical tips.


Challenges and communication barriers in LDRs

Challenges and communication barriers in LDRs

Long-distance relationships, or LDRs, pose unique challenges for couples. Being apart can make it difficult to maintain a sense of connection.

Distance often creates a sense of loneliness and isolation among LDRs. When communication becomes hard or infrequent, partners can start feeling disconnected, and the relationship may suffer. 3

Furthermore, when you’re not seeing each other in person, it can be difficult to understand what your partner is trying to express clearly. Without the visual cues of face-to-face communication, it can be easy to misinterpret your partner’s words or feelings. 4

This is why active listening is so critical. When done right, it can help bridge the communication gap and bring partners closer together.

Strategies for practicing active listening in LDRs

Strategies for practicing active listening in LDRs

When engaging in active listening in a long-distance relationship, being present and mindful of your partner is important. Here are some tips for practicing active listening in an LDR:

1. Create a conducive listening environment

To practice active listening effectively in a long-distance relationship, creating a conducive listening environment is essential. This involves minimizing distractions and allocating dedicated time for communication.

Distractions have been found to negatively impact communication and understanding significantly. Creating a calm and comfortable environment enables partners to concentrate on each other, facilitating meaningful conversations. 5

Seeking ways to create a more accepting environment in your relationship? Discover effective strategies to improve communication and foster understanding.

2. Allocate dedicated time for communication

In LDRs, allocating dedicated time for communication is extremely important. Regular check-ins and deep conversations can help bridge the physical gap between partners and ensure both are heard. 6

Making a deliberate commitment to allocate time fosters trust and enhances mutual understanding of thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Because of this, it is important to set aside time regularly for meaningful conversations. 7

3. Demonstrate attentive body language

It’s easy to forget that body language is as crucial in long-distance communication as in face-to-face conversations. Even though it may seem challenging, it is vital to demonstrate attentive body language when engaging in active listening.

This can involve maintaining eye contact even during video calls, nodding when your partner is talking, and using verbal cues like ‘uh-huh’ to show that you are listening and engaging with the conversation.

Eye contact during video calls helps foster a sense of presence and engagement, enhancing the connection between partners. It signals that you are invested in the conversation and genuinely listening to your partner. 8

4. Practice reflective listening

Reflective listening is a powerful tool for deepening understanding between long-distance partners. It involves paraphrasing and summarizing your partner’s words to demonstrate understanding and empathy. 9

It also helps to avoid misunderstandings and allows your partner to feel heard. Reflective listening is a simple yet effective way of strengthening your connection and enhancing mutual understanding.

5. Develop flexibility and understanding in adjusting schedules

When you’re in an LDR, you don’t always have the luxury of being able to talk whenever you want. Being adaptable and accommodating in managing different time zones and busy schedules is crucial to making active listening work in an LDR. 10

This flexibility can involve adjusting to accommodate each other’s availability and finding overlapping time slots for communication. It shows your commitment to maintaining a strong connection and fostering open communication in your LDR. 11

6. Show empathy and validation

Active listening in LDRs requires sensitivity and respect. Showing empathy and validation helps build a stronger connection between long-distance partners.

Listening attentively and validating their emotions create a safe, supportive environment for open dialogue. This helps your partner feel heard, valued, and understood, fostering a deeper connection in your LDR. 12

Want to know how to resolve conflicts with emotional intelligence? Learn effective strategies to navigate disagreements and build stronger relationships.

7. Avoid interrupting and judgment

It is important to resist interrupting and judging your partner’s thoughts during conversations. Doing so can make your partner feel unheard and invalidated. It is better to listen attentively and respond thoughtfully and constructively.

Refraining from interrupting allows your partner to express their thoughts and feelings fully. This demonstrates respect for their perspective and encourages a more fruitful exchange of ideas. 13

8. Engage in active listening exercises and role-playing activities

Engaging in active listening exercises and role-playing activities can help couples develop better communication skills and enhance mutual understanding. These activities involve practice sessions where partners listen and respond to each other.

For LDRs, active listening exercises and role-playing activities are helpful in simulating real-life scenarios. This helps long-distance partners gain insight into each other’s perspectives and familiarize themselves with reactions to various situations.

Gaining insight into each other’s perspectives is only one of the benefits of couples therapy exercises. Discover how these exercises can improve communication, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction.

Active listening is a crucial skill for couples in long-distance relationships. By establishing a conducive listening environment, showing empathy and validation, and engaging in active listening exercises and role-playing activities, couples can bridge the physical gap and deepen their connection. Learn how other effective communication strategies can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connections with your partner.


  1. Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(1), 37. ↩︎

  2. Reis, H. T., & Shaver, P. (1988). Intimacy as an interpersonal process. In S. Duck, D. F. Hay, S. E. Hobfoll, W. Ickes, & B. M. Montgomery (Eds.), Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research and interventions (pp. 367–389). Oxford, UK: Wiley. ↩︎

  3. Johnson, A. J., Haigh, M. M., Becker, J. A., Craig, E. A., & Wigley, S. (2008). College students’ use of relational management strategies in email in long-distance and geographically close relationships. Journal of Computer-mediated communication, 13(2), 381-404. ↩︎

  4. Sahlstein, E. M. (2004). Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21(5), 689-710. ↩︎

  5. Stafford, L., & Haines, D. (2017). Distraction, the Desire to Socialize, and Boredom Proneness in the Face of Romantic Partner Unavailability. Personal Relationships, 24(4), 795-810. ↩︎

  6. Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(1), 37-54. ↩︎

  7. Lee, S. J., & Sandberg, J. G. (2020). Long-distance romantic relationships. In The International Encyclopedia of Media Psychology. ↩︎

  8. Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). Nonverbal communication in close relationships. Psychology Press. ↩︎

  9. Hargie, O., & Dickson, D. (2004). Skilled interpersonal communication: Research, theory, and practice. Psychology Press. ↩︎

  10. Guldner, G. T. (2018). Long distance relationships: The complete guide. Mentra Publications. ↩︎

  11. Dainton, M., & Aylor, B. (2002). Patterns of communication channel use in the maintenance of long-distance relationships. Communication Research Reports, 19(2), 118-129. ↩︎

  12. Floyd, K., Mikkelson, A. C., Hesse, C., & Pauley, P. M. (2008). Affectionate expression and satisfaction in intimate relationships: A validation of the affection exchange theory. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25(6), 777-794. ↩︎

  13. Derlega, V. J., Metts, S., Petronio, S., & Margulis, S. T. (2013). Self-disclosure. Routledge. ↩︎

Author picture of Amy Clark
Relationship Expert

Amy Clark

Amy Clark is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, marriage, and family. She has been happily married for over ten years and loves her husband and three kids. Before …

Read full bio

Get the official app 😍

PumPum app icon

PumPum

For iPhone & Android
Browse all articles